November 6th

how do they go from this...

to this...

in one year???

I look the same. Josh looks the same. Maybe a few more bags under the eyes for us. It was such a pivotal, and special year for Jonah. For all of us. There were so many emotions flowing through me as his 1st birthday approached, and came, and went. I have a little "Jonah Journal" I keep... not super diligently, but when I want to write messages to him about his growth, development, or moments we're having together. Every day is so valuable, but it slips away so quickly. I want to remember many of our little moments, and the only way to do that is record them. For my dedication to my lil JoJo, I will recount a passage from his "Jonah Journal" written in the wee hours of the morning of his birthday. It's a little personal, but important to me. If anything happens to that little blue book covered in yellow birds, at least we'll have this entry preserved on the blog.

A little background. Josh and I were assigned to be in charge of our ward's 'Harvest Dinner'. A traditional turkey dinner they have every year. It's a big job, but I love parties... so I was pumped. We enjoyed planning it. The last week was a bit hairy, but it was under control. The Harvest Dinner was the day before Jonah's birthday. Go figure. We took it seriously and really sought inspiration for what to do for the program for the dinner. In the end, we felt strongly about sharing a certain message. We took video of many ward members and edited it into a video about thanks and giving, then a Mormon Message followed. Long story short, we tested it 3 days in a row to make sure it worked on the projector in the gym. When the moment came, it choked. ??? We may never know why. The dinner went swell, and everyone was happy. No program though. No one really knew what they missed, but us. SIGH!

November 6th, 2011- wee hours of the morning

"You're snoozing away, angel baby. Little moans and groans every once in a while coming from your room. Ha Ha. Your daddy is OUT LIKE A LIGHT beside me. It was a crazy day (the 5th). Besides that, all I can think about is how i am gazing at a one year old! MY one year old!!! I can't stop checking on you over and over. You have this little curl on the back of your head. I want to take a picture, of course, but it will wake you up. The world stands still when I look at you sleeping. Perfection. You are taking up much more of that crib than you used to... I don't even know what to say about November 6th being here. My heart is full about all that I want to tell you, be for you, and shout thanks for the blessings of having you this last year. Today Dad and I were in charge of the Harvest Dinner. We prepared so much, just to have our video's sound not work. It was frustrating and so disapointing to put so much time and heart into it and have it not work out. I'm tempted to not record it, hoping I'll forget it. Josh and I hashed it out afterwards... there is always something to be learned. Let's learn it. I really wanted Heavenly Father to make the sound work... it worked all day. I don't understand. What your Daddy and I had come to our minds strongy is that we won't always understand and mortatlity is hard (and full of disapointments), but Heavenly Father is still (and always) there for you. It didn't feel like it when I had to can the video I spent 8 hours editing. But I know He is and His perspective is greater than mine and my mortality is teaching me things, challenging me, making me stronger. I hope your remember this. Although life is hard and gets rough, Heavenly Father is always there and wants us to draw near to Him and bless us in ways we didn't know possible. He wants us to progress. Tonight it was a bit painful, but I feel the progression actually. It will be difficult for me to see you face life's struggles, but I know you will face them bravely and faithfully. And you will progress as the awesome individual you are through each experience. I love you, my son! I see greatness in you every day. Even when you're still small. It's inspiring. One year has past. An eternity to come, really. I'm already looking forward to what this next year will bring and watching you grow in so many ways and being by your side. Happy Birthday. Happy Happy Birthday Jonah Joshua!!!"